Honey . . . A man who looks like Santa

Today is a special day. It's my honey's birthday. (For all of you lonely but not angry birds out there, HONEY is a term of endearment used by couples, especially married ones, in addressing each other.)  Today is also the first time that we have been far apart for his birthday. He's in Davao City holding down the fort, and I'm in Manila agonizing before the Philippine bar examinations. My husband, who has a long beard and looks like Santa Clause, isn't all that he seems. He's much more than that. Although he doesn't really like to show his affection to me in public that much because people have this image of him being "a man's man", he is quite a sweet and loving fellow (at times - lol). So, indulge me in this post because I want to dedicate this to a man who taught me many things . . . some of which might surprise you.

Here are a couple of things that my honey taught me . . .

When I came back to the Philippines, I didn't know how to speak Tagalog (the national language), much less Bisaya (the tongue used in Davao City). Much of the language I learned over here has been because of my husband. My English was very 'slang' and my pronunciation was much like that heard on American television. So, some ignorant idiots in college would make fun of my English to my face . . . maybe because their English was sooooooooo bad! (yeah, you know who you fools are out there! I hope you're reading this!) This used to aggravate me because I never made fun of their horrible and incorrect English. Anyway, my husband was one of the few people who had the guts to come up to me repeatedly and politely converse with me . . . which was an advantage as much of the competition was weeded out (lol). Although he would throw in a few flirty lines here and there, he taught me the language and about the culture. I guess you could say, this is what really brought us closer together. Over time, I was able to learn Bisaya and became more comfortable around people because they weren't teasing me about my accent anymore. Furthermore, nobody would ever tease me around him because he was a 'macho' man and quite masculine looking. Basically, he was my teacher and bodyguard . . . who I had a crush on!

Another thing he taught me was hand washing. Growing up abroad, I hardly washed anything by hand, just very delicate underwear. However, although I had my clothes washed by a washerwoman in my dormitory here (Philippines), there was no laundry service once in a while because of long holidays. So, I was stuck with washing pants and shirts . . . by hand! (O.M.G.!) To many in the Philippines, that's not such a big deal, but it is to someone without experience in hand washing heavy clothes. The first time I washed by hand, I saw him in the laundry area of our dormitory washing his clothes. (He was an expert!) We said 'hello' then I started to wash my clothes. He looked amused as I clearly had no I idea what I was doing. He showed me how to dissolve and rub the 'bareta' (bar-type laundry soap to the non-Filipinos out there) on to the clothes, then rub the clothes laden with soap briskly together . . . again and again and again. It was horribly exhausting! So, he helped me wash about half of my laundry . . . which scored him big points with me, of course. Even now, he sometimes washes my underwear along with his (when we are on a trip) because he knows I HATE washing clothes by hand. So, he sometimes does it - even without asking. Few men in the Philippines would even consider doing that because of the patriarchal culture. Here, a woman is supposed to wash her man's underwear by hand. (Hmm) Anyway, I have a lot of respect for him for doing that. I know many of his friends and relatives would cringe at him for doing that. (Surprise! lol)

Although there are many other things that he taught me (which I don't want to discuss because my post would be too long and since I have to get back to studying for my bar exams), the most important thing is patience. He has always been a patient person and I admire him greatly for that. He constantly reminds me to understand people, to be kind (I can sometimes be mean - lol) and to be patient with them, even if they offend or do something bad to us. He also loves to help the poor and needy . . . sometimes to a fault as they tend to abuse his generosity (which I always bring to his attention, of course).

Yet, I think that's why God sends you someone who can balance you out . . . the 'yin' to your 'yang' . . . the 'hot' to your 'cold' . . . because together, you can be in harmony. So, go out under the sun and find your honey, and be sure to tell that person how much he or she means to you. If you don't have one yet, don't rush because the sweetness in life takes time and effort to achieve . . . just like honey made from bees.